the monster tree

When I returned home after all the chaos and pain I opened my laptop.

My desktop had icons pasted over the whole thing. Every one opened the same image.

Clearly, Piggy sucks at Photoshop.

I found Shiloh at the mall. Even though he spotted my hidden camera, he let me record the conversation. Which came back as pure static every time, uh... "He" was alluded to.

Fuck that. its name doesn't get capitalization. Or a gendered pronoun.

Oh screw that too. Clearly giving it any sort of special pronoun puts it on some pedistal and frankly I don't think I'm at the position to criticize said pedistal.

Not that the static matters. It was lost in the water at the place, with my phone and wallet and everything else. My parents, thankfully, are alive, and doing fine. Just shaken up because I was gone for a month. I've steered clear of the internet since then. I don't blame Shiloh or his "guardian" (oh right. it really turned out to be some schizo split personality but who really cares in this whole game anyways?) for what happened, but I sure as hell don't want to mess with him or anything else again. He seemed to need help, but I think his needing help was all part of the plan.

Let me tell you first off that all that "hollowed" shit you read in the Slender Man Mythos online is not real.

I don't know what happened while I was gone and I don't care to. But what I do know is that "it" doesn't care much about any human being at all. The minute I laid my eyes on its true body, not some faceless man in a suit but instead some impossible melding of shining flesh and wriggling bone I lost my mind. Not in the Lovecraftian sort of way, going mad from a revelation or sight.

There's something wrong with it. It's programmed to screw with your head.

For a month I stayed in one place, or god knows what I did, dreaming. I dreamed of my past, mostly. And I remembered. I remembered in startling detail.

Piggy was not an imaginary friend. Piggy was the nickname of my baby brother. Parker.

Then it happened on November 22, 1998. Just like that damn picture created by our photoshop wizard hinted at so long ago. The known sex offender Arthur Lich kidnapped him.

He was a freak. I don't remember anything at all about him - other than the fact that they called him "The Big Bad Wolf" because of that mask he would wear as he lured kids in. Lured them in with balloons and a smile... lured me in despite my parents' warnings over the years to stay away from such a man.

But I gave in, and he took Parker. Piggy.

But in my dreams and in my memories there was always something wrong with him... he wasn't quite... human at all.

So is he... you know. Tall Dark and Faceless? Oh fuck it. If I'm going to get submerged in this alternate reality game shit I might as well call him what he is. The god damned Slender Man. Or is he something else entirely? Despite the month-long plague of memories and emotions, I still am in the dark.

And now that picture.

I guess I'm supposed to go to the place. That cancerous tree me and David used to visit when we were kids. The Monster Tree.

But not now. If I can avoid this I will. I'm not going down the same path as Shiloh.

Piggy. The Big Bad Wolf. The Slender Man. Grant. What do they all have in common?

I'm sleeping with a twenty dollar bill under my pillowcase with the lights on. Maybe being a smartass will ward off evil.

Tomorrow

I'm going to meet Shiloh and his "guardian" tomorrow. I'll try to get a video. Hopefully nothing... bad happens.

Still no updates on the code. It's harder to crack than one would think.

Written on the Walls

Today around 4:00 P.M. I entered the closet. I think the video speaks for itself.



Piggy was the name of my childhood imaginary friend. Wrap your mind around why the hell that name was written in there. I have no idea. This is turning insane. I'm going to try to make sense of it all. And I'm also going to stay in the light. Goodbye, sleep.

Message:

"Piggy wants to play.

ytaat tlaag ywyitintly"

It's written in crayon. If anybody else thinks this is a code, I could use some help.

Some observations:

-It's written in different colors. Perhaps this is a factor in the code, or just there to throw us off.
-"Piggy wants to play" is obviously not code. Or is it? Either way, that's plain English, which could be some part in cracking the code.
-It may not be a code. It's written in crayon and it's the name of my childhood imaginary friend. And it's written in what seems to be the hand of a child (too high up?) so perhaps it IS just jibberish.

I'm going to look further into this and into "source."

Additionally, I am meeting Shiloh and his "guardian" at a Chicago-area mall Saturday. I'm going to need to sort things out, gather questions to ask. I need to make this visit worthwhile.

Blogging in Style... Close Encounters of the Worst Kind

No Leads

I'm thinking of asking my parents about this birthday party thing. Stuff is really getting out of hand. But I don't want to stir up anything, I'm going to try digging a bit deeper.

I've been on my guard more lately. Adele is back with my aunt and uncle - I can't have her around with all this insanity going on. I have a strong feeling that this is about me, and about David, and maybe about Simon, but either way it's not a good idea to get a little kid involved.

The insomnia has been worse too. Now, I know my screen name is "InsomniacPrince" and all, but I've never taken the title serious. I've never missed more than a whole night of sleep more than once in a week. Now there's full-fledged paranoia creeping up. And it causes the burning-eyed, dry-mouthed tiredness that all the coffee and pills in the world only makes worse. I ward off the shadows by reading and playing video games way more often than usual, but there's never any focus.

I don't know what I'm dealing with, but I also know I was foolish to think it was gone.

Another thing - I was reformatting my blog out of boredom and where the hell did this "source" tag come from? Last time I checked, it was called "madness." This means one of a few things.

-Forgetfulness or amnesia-like symptoms? Maybe I just forgot...? Insomnia might be the cause of that.
-Server error? What would give your entries a new tag?
-Hacker? Why would they just change an entry tag though? Wouldn't I get either spammed or, uh, riddled with operator symbols and AltERnATing CaPS NoNSEnsE EntrIES? Ahaha. /nervouslaugh
-Something else totally off the wall?

I don't know. Maybe if somebody out there could help me, one of my watchers? It'd be appreciated.

I'll be on my guard. Until next time, don't sleep without me.

That sounded weird.

oH GOD thE PaIN (psyche!)

Ahaha.

So it's been a while since I last blogged. I don't know, maybe. I'm too lazy to open a new tab and check when that last update was (please slap me for typing that). But I was just surprised to discover that Blogspot is no longer blocked at my school. I'd like to take this study hall procrastination session to tell you everything is going smoothly. The spring has begun, and I've had no problems with my personal bogeymen.

I also figure it's about time to explain what all of this paranoid (?) blogging means.

December. I was going through a bit of a tough phase. Bogged down with work and school and all, and to top it off I've got my paranoid niece to worry about. I lost contact with David, and took refuge in horror movies and the internet. I lived on Mountain Dew and black coffee. And that's when he appeared.

He being... well, I don't think it's necessary to say, knowing what my obsession was in October and November. I'm talking about the Slender Man, dummy.

But let's just say I was wrong. Too much creepypasta-writing and too little common sense led me to this delusion, the delusion that I was being followed by some faceless Eldrich horror. The paranoia didn't last long. Eventually, I dismissed it all as the stories getting to me. So naturally I stopped believing.

And what do you know. Slendy disappeared faster than I could whip out a twenty dollar bill.

And in his place came the terrible nightmares. I might post some of my dream logs later, for those with an inclination to psychoanalysis. But in short, let me just describe them as surreal and terrifying. I started jumping at shadows. Everything that scared me at night scared me in the day. My worst nightmares were real. At first they were Slender Man, then they became, I dunno. Ghosts. Voices from Hell. Candle Cove and Pokemon Black for a while. And I knew this was all mocking me.

So I decided to play mind games with whoever was watching me. My parents, being the awesome people they are, actually allowed me to go on a several week-long trip, taking a bit of school off to gather my thoughts and see the world. And in the process, I aimed my thoughts at turning my worst fears into real things. Tangible things. I read books on serial killers. I watched some gory, squick-filled movies. None of the abominations you can't touch. Only real things. If something can kill you, you can kill it. If it's human, it has the capability to die too.

I'd like to skip the next part for now, if you don't mind. Too much work to make up. But let me tell you - my demons can now fully be considered thwarted (for now?) and the triumphant victory goes to Jacob Owen, nothing else.

Once I manage to wade my way out of the mess I made by leaving school and work, I'm starting my online video series. "The Project." I hope to put my experiences to scientific work.

Until next time, goodbye.

Long Time, No Blog

Actually, I think it's been just a couple of days. Ah, well.

The reason I've been offline so much is because I'm so damn busy. I overloaded myself with classes this year, and there's work, and driving Adele to and from school... I really want to keep on blogging because it makes me feel important, hehe.

Well, there's not much to say, really.

Just dropping in. I'll blog again if I have anything significant to say, I promise.

Oh right, I just remembered. I officially hate Tribe Twelve. I guess it wasn't Nightmare on Elm Street that scared Adele after all, I left that surreal "HELLOTHERE" entry up on my screen. You do the math on what happened next. Ah, well. She seems to be calmer now. She's just edgy as hell around that window by her room... ugh. Fuck creepypasta, Slender Man, and everything of the sort.

And I'm Transformed into a Monster, a Giant; With No Heart, No Limbs, No Desire

...The title is from a William Control song. Because I'm painting it. I might post the painting to my deviantART, might not. For anyone who cares, search "Razor's Edge". It's a cool New Wave sorta sounding song. Even though he's as autotuned as you can get, it's still creepy as hell.

---

I'm actually meeting up with some guy I met on the internet. I think my life is turning into an Alternate Reality Game. I guess he's interested in my project. Anything other than that, though, he was all ambiguous about. If my blogging stops, file a missing person report, haha. He's climbing in your windows, he's snatchin' your people up, try'n to rape 'em so hide yo kids, hide yo wife.

But seriously, he seems like a normal guy as far as I can tell.

How long have I been blogging? Dammit, I lost track of time. Gotta study. To quote the ever-so-famous Gary Oak, "Smell ya later!"

Mr. Widemouth Says Hello

/irrelevant title

--

What is the color yellow to a blind man's mind's eye? And light, and dark for that matter? If one was born without vision but can comprehend color, what does red look like when they hear it?

Black?

--

I get weird when I'm tired. Philosophical.

In other news, Adele is still scared witless. She sleeps with her light on in the guest bedroom, and has put a blanket up over the window. The tree always scratches the windowpane on windy winter nights... alliteration not intended. I can see how the Freddy Krueger-esque dead tree limbs would scare the kid, though. It's my fault, I suppose, so I hope she's better soon.

(Also, inb4 somebody tries to pretend this blog is all just a Slender Man story because of my obsession with him earlier in November).

Speaking of such matters, I've replied to your comment and sent an e-mail your way, Shiloh.

--

Happy December, everybody. I guess it's that time of year again... it started snowing in Chicago (how fitting), and there are Christmas lights everywhere.

Busy Busy

...So for anybody who cares, which I don't think anybody does, I made a Twitter and a Facebook under my newer e-mail address/internet name (InsomniacPrince). I've never really been into social networking but I figure it might come in handy. Don't expect updates though.

Onto the rest of the entry. More life stuff again, Jake? Yes. Sorry, but I have nothing interesting to blog about lately - no cool creepypastas I've read, and I haven't been able to catch up on my ordinary-book reading. I considered doing a music review to add some variety but... whatever. Maybe later.
So I have all these projects for school due this week - an essay and presentation for history, a paper for English, a crapload of projects for Studio Art... let's just say that with babysitting for Adele while my parents are out I have NO. SPARE. TIME. Blah. I hope I'll have a break to work on my "project" around Christmas.
...Speaking of Adele, in case anybody (nobody) was wondering about her, she's okay. Missing sleep, though, because for some reason I don't know I let her watch the end of A Nightmare on Elm Street with me before she went to bed. She claims she's seen it a million times before, but she's terrified. Jumping at shadows and such. Oh, Jake, why must you be so awful with children?

http://twitter.com/insomniacprince

Back Home at Last / Birthday Wishes / Hello Adele

Wow... so much that happened, and so little time to blog about it. I wish I got to make a "farewell" post before I left for Thanksgiving out of town, but, alas, there was no time to. So I'll summarize all that happened.

First off, the day we set off it was my birthday. I didn't get to see friends or anything, but I had a party-ish thing with my parents and James (my same-age cousin) before we left for the plane, which was a bit of a surprise (considering nobody else remembered and the family didn't say anything until then). My folks also gave me two CDs and a book - Danger Days by My Chemical Romance, You'll Rebel to Anything by Mindless Self Indulgence, and House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski - all of which to occupy myself on the plane ride. I've been wanting to read HoL for quite some time now, after all its mentions in EverymanHYBRID and all over the Unforums. I suppose I'll get around to reading more of it soon, but it's quite a chore to make sense of it on the plane. I did get a great idea while listening to "Planetary (GO!)" from Danger Days, though, and if I'm able to carry it out I'll post it when possible.

Well, I'm blogging a bit late now and that's because my parents and I went to pick up Adele the minute we got back. She's gotten taller since I last saw her... much taller than I expected a kid her age to be. I took her out for a hot chocolate for a while, and she seems happy as ever. Making lots of pop culture references she shouldn't understand and such.

That's about all that's going on here. I might tell y'all how Thanksgiving in the south was but that would be boring, considering the fact all I really did was sit around. I might elaborate later but this entry is running long. So until next entry, ciao.

Long-Forgotten Fairy Tales

I had to get some sleep early today, because I'm planning on going to a film release at midnight with some people. So, knowing how much trouble I have sleeping even when I am tired, tried to force it around 8:00. I think it was around 9:00 when I managed to actually fall into a light sleep, in a sweaty-and-feeling-gross way more than anything else. I woke up at the last track of the CD I'd been listening to in order to lull myself to sleep, knowing nothing about what I'd just dreamt other than that it wasn't a dream, per se. It was more just... thoughts. A weird, crazy rush of nonsensical thoughts. And being pulled out of that world and into a half-wakened state scared the hell out of me. Since I was still half-asleep though, I managed to pull myself back under again. Haha, bad idea. Being a zombie tomorrow would be better than deciding to get that last bit of dream.
I don't remember much. I was in bed, I think. Trying to cover my head with the sheets, but they were always being pulled away. There was some unholy light piercing through the curtains.
And then there was Miss Daggertooth just as I had seen her as a child, in all my nightmares when I was six years old. Her tiny, beady eyes and her rows and rows of teeth in that mouth that just hinges open on the neck...
Oh jeez, I'm scaring myself again.
Maybe I'll explain later. Maybe not.
But there's little hope of me getting any sleep, good or bad, for the next few days.

Surrealism at its Finest

Steeeeee-rike!

 Whether or not you like Japanese animation, Paranoia Agent is really worth watching, especially if you're interested in mystery, surrealism, intrigue, or suspense. Satoshi Kon, the late creator and visionary who dreamed up and directed this series, did a good job at setting it apart from everything else on the market. It's not filled with anime cliches, but it's also distinguishably anime style. It's too short to be considered a full series, but too long to be considered a miniseries or a movie divided into segments (much like how I see things like FLCL).

Cute, in a demented, trippy sort of way

 I don't want to give too much away for those interested, but I'll tell you this - social phenomena are a big part of the series, and it can be roughly, roughly described as the accounts of the victims of a boy who rides around on inline skates and attacks them with a bent baseball bat. It's got suspense to rival King and Hitchcock and more freakishly surreal and abstract ideas than a Lynch film can hold (er-maybe).
Don't let the premise turn you away from the series. As far as abstract art goes, you're not supposed to get it. Just follow along... it's several hours well-spent.

We all... fall... down!

On an unrelated note, I'm going to be leaving to go down south for the Thanksgiving holiday, most likely a few days starting next Tuesday. Whether or not Adele will be coming with or if David and Evelyn will put her in somebody else's care for a few days still isn't decided. Fingers crossed that Adele is coming with though.
As you might expect, my new blog that's just starting to get off its feet will be less active. I'll still try to update every day, but no promises.

Just got a call from David...

David is my older brother.
Well, apparently, David and Evelyn (that's his wife) are taking a month-long trip to Germany to see the sights and such. They'll be staying in Munich, and then to Stuttgart to meet with some of Evelyn's family members who live there. While I do wish I could go on such a trip, there is a plus side to them going. My niece, Adele, who's a really cool kid, is going to be staying with my family for the month that they're gone. The trip is planned for next week, so starting next Wednesday I'll be able to hang out with her for a while.
I've always wanted a younger sibling, really, but I've just had David who's ten years older than I am. So I guess I'll get the whole experience while Adele is staying with my family.

Until then, I'll keep my blog posted with the regular creepy stuff - I hope to start my new photography project sometime this week!